When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile. - Unknown

Sometimes, the most difficult situations bring about the best things in life. At the time we're going through a rough patch, we may not always see the light at the end of the tunnel or the beauty in such hurt. As individuals who are fighting such embarrassing diseases that carry a stigma because they involve our digestive system and POOP; yes, I said, "POOP," we tend to seek help and advice from others that have gone through or are going through what we are experiencing everyday.

I'd like to share the story of a man who saw my blog and asked me to share his story of fighting colon cancer and bringing awareness to a community where ostomy education and awareness were all but existent because the medical community didn't see a need for education or awareness. I hope that each and every one of you can read this man's story and continue to advocate for IBD and ostomies, or maybe his story will pull on your heart's strings and give you the desire to become an advocate.

Almost 13 years ago, I went to see a surgeon about removing what my family doctor and I thought were hemorrhoids. After bending over, and having what looked like a small telescope shoved up my rear-end, the doctor exclaimed, "I'm afraid it's a little worse than hemorrhoids. I'll have to take a cutting." As soon as I heard the word "cutting," I thought "CANCER," but wait, I thought, "It can't be; I've had a barium enema and sigmoidoscopy, both proved negative." 

Three days later, I was called by the surgeon telling me I had colon cancer. He had made arrangements at the local hospital...I had to have surgery, immediately! Thank God, I'm still here, but why didn't the cancer show up in the barium enema or sigmoidoscopy? 

The cancer was holed up in a muscle at the end of the anus. When the tube was inserted, it passed the diseased area before it could be detected. (So much for modern medicine.) 

Lawrence Pilarski

After my colostomy surgery, I tried to find support in my community. Unfortunately, there was none! I looked in neighboring towns to no avail...I even contacted Hudson County (the county I live in) for a list of ostomy services. There were none! 

The hospital had done away with "ostomy nurses." The nurses in the hospital were poorly trained in ostomy care; in fact, their training was much the same as mine after surgery...watching a short film on how to care for your colostomy, which was nothing more than showing you how to change your "pouch." 

At one of my three-month sessions with my surgeon, I mentioned the fact that there were no support groups in the area. He, jokingly, said, "Why don't you start one?" I started to think about this and what could be done to help others in similar situations.

Searching the Web, I submerged myself in everything I could about ostomies. I learned so much, I, eventually, wrote a tip sheet for fellow ostomates, calling it "The Ostomates Owners Manual." (Techniques You Should Know When Addressing Your Stoma). I had several doctors and nurses read it over and correct any mistakes I may have made. 

Over the next several months, I continued to learn. Yet, in the back of my mind, I thought..."how a support group would benefit people who were going to have, or who just had, such surgery." 

I eventually found a small place where senior citizens had exercise classes. It was affliated with the hsoptial I had my surgery in, Community Crossings. I contacted the head nurse and told her of my idea. She loved the idea but first had to check with the hospital administration to see if it was all right. Fortunately, it was, and the Bayonne Ostomy Alliance was born.

Now, we're using the web to help those who are in other states and could use information on their conditions.

If you'd like to contact Lawrence about his support group or for a free copy of his manual, you can do so at ostomyvisitor@aol.com and include "Please Send Ebook" in the subject line. You'll, also, receive the group's monthly newsletter. He's also available at Colostomy Confab on Facebook, http://www.facebook.com/groups/210070179086506/, or you can reach the Alliance by phone at (201) 339-5251. If you live in or around the Jersey City area, or plan on making a trip anytime soon, the newest support group meets the first Monday of every month from 4:00-6:00 pm at the Jersey City Medical Center, 355 Grand Street Jersey City, NJ 07302. The original group, Bayonne Ostomy Alliance, meets the second Wednesday of every month from 2:00-3:00 pm at 29th Street at Avenue E Bayonne, NJ 07002.

Thank you, Lawrence, for your story! What a determined soul you have for taking the time and effort to research, publish a manual, and start 2 support groups in and around your area. People like you are what make the ostomy, IBD, and cancer community so strong!

Once again...Be comfortable. Be sexy. Be you.